It's been a while and I've grown up a lot, but one thing that I've always had on my mind is love that I have always had and I've never really known the person with the exception of a few vague memories.

What I mean, is that I have loved ones that have passed away that I still very much love and think about. My Aunt Gerri, who passed away in the early '70s, is someone I never knew, but have a large amount of love and respect for because of the positive influence that she had on my own mother's life. Hell, I'm a very spiritual person and I believe that my great Aunt has been a very large part of my life since day one.

I'm also speaking of my Uncle Mark who we lost 8 or so years ago. I never really knew him and only saw him every 2 to 4 years. It was explained to me that, just like my older sister, he was bipolar. It was explained that when he went through his manic episodes, he would cut himself off from the family. I know this much, I loved him and I adored him and I still think of him often, I miss him so much sometimes it hurts knowing that his death was never investigated and that no one even cared enough to fly to the west coast to identify his body. I know that my family reads this, and I mean no harm, but this weighs heavily on my mind now that I'm old enough to understand.

Why couldn't he be around more while I was growing up? What was so wrong that I wasn't allowed to know him very well? All that I know of him is that he was very artistically talented, a tattoo artist and he carved wood. I know that he had the most badass moustache you'll ever see. I know that because of his traveling his Southern accent became non-existent. If you'd heard him speak, you'd never know where he was from. I know that I miss him. I know that my parents, especially my dad, miss him.

I can't help but to think of the loves that I'll never know and always love.

December boys got it bad....

So, I haven't posted anything on here for a few months. A LOT has changed and I'm in a much better place because of it. I took a big, stupid risk and it paid off, thank God. I'm probably the only person who can do something so incredibly risky and come out alive&kicking.

I've got a job, searching for a better one, and I've been writing a whole heckuva lot. I'm actually really proud of what I've been writing, for once in my life. I guess that's why I haven't been posting any blogs, I have a new writing outlet that's more private and will eventually become public once it's copyrighted.

Well, Memphis has lost a few more musicians since the untimely death of the legendary Jim Dickinson(whom I still miss a lot, I'll always miss him). Willie Mitchell passed at the beginning of the year and then a couple weeks later we lost an up and coming youngster, Jay Reatard. The latter was really making a name for himself and then we just lose him. His death really scared me senseless and made me think, "Who's next? Will it be someone that I consider to be like a brother to me?" Most recently, the leader of Big Star, Alex Chilton passed away. This really hit home for me too, Big Star had recently become a sort of soundtrack to my life and to lose someone when you've just started discovering them is really sad. Memphis has lost entirely too much in the past 9 months.

Well, I'm done. My mom is bugging me to finish, so maybe I'll post more later.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FOLKS THAT I LOVE!!!!!

So, it's a new year and I've made the best resolution that I've ever made. "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today," Will Rogers said that. I have no idea who the guy is, but I'm grateful to Jason Mraz for posting the quote on twitter.

This year, my writing and my education and my health will take top priority with me. I'm sick of not being the person I'm supposed to be and just letting myself go. No more. I'm gonna fight it. It's gonna be hard, fighting depression, but I have to do it. I have to.

I love writing. I'm writing an essay right now and I haven't done that in so long. I'm loving it. It's not only aimed at my eventual readers, but at myself too. It's about something that we are all guilty of falling prey to. Not gonna give it away, but I may post it in the near future.

Something that I wish that I had for my writing is a typewriter or a laptop. Sure, I've got a computer at home, but it's in my dad's room and that's not exactly easy access at any time that I may need it to type up a story or some other thing I'm working on. Just putting this out there.

I hope that you all have a wonderful year and, to whoever reads this, thank you for taking the time to care.

I'm posting this blog just to say.....

GO RED WINGS!

They've had an unlucky season so far, but they're playing like heroes.

Say what you will, oh aunts of mine, but I don't care. This team has heart, this team has soul. I'm a Memphis girl and I KNOW soul.........wait so are you. Whatever. I still live here. ;)

You were flying to high for my little sky, so I'm moving on.

I prefer Elvis singing that song ^^^ to Roseanne Cash singing it. Her cover is just trying too hard.

I've been thinking about artists covering well known songs or songs by well known artists lately. Is this ok or not? When is it ok? When is it not ok?

I think that the new arrangement of the song has to stay true to the original and the listener has to be able to tell that the singer is truly a fan of the original, has always been a fan of the original. When I hear Carrie Underwood cover Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home," it makes me cringe. She's covering it because it might somehow make her seem more edgy, when in reality, fans of the original are disgusted.

A good example of an artist covering an already popular, awesome tune is when Elvis Presley would sing songs like "My Babe"(a Little Walter tune) or "Hound Dog"(a Big Mama Thornton tune, if I'm not mistaken). His versions of classic gospel tunes also comes to mind. You could just tell in his delivery, and through the new arrangements of the tunes, that he had an immense amount of respect for the songs that he sang.

That being said, I am a huge fan of new artists(new meaning they started recording anywhere from 20 to 5 years ago) covering some of my favorite songs. When I hear my favorite band, North Mississippi Allstars, cover "Little Wing"; my heart swells with pride because they do the song such justice. And when I hear Ben Nichols's(of Lucero, another great local band) raspy, whiskey soaked voice sing "Ain't No Sunshine," I smile because I know that he gets the heart of the song. He lives it.

All I ask for is a genuine delivery, whether it be your own song or a cover.

Here's hoping this actually makes sense.

In my younger years as a music lover I never dreamed that new music could satisfy my heart the way that music from the '50s and '60s did, and continues to do. While I still believe that the '60s was the height of music, the current underground music scene is really very fulfilling and satisfying for a music lover like me.

I've been discovering new and wonderful music for the past 7 years and every time I think I've really found the end of good music, someone sends something new my way. It's really comforting to know that there are still songwriters and bands out there that are passionate about what they do. It's comforting to know that there's still some originality out there.

It's NOT so comforting knowing that none of these songwriters or bands will EVER reach the level of success that they so rightfully deserve and have earned because today's mainstream music industry is so image driven. I hate that, the image is not everything. Sometimes, beautiful music comes in not so pretty packaging and that's great to me.(Sorry, if I offend you, fellas. I'm trying to make a point here, not hurt your precious feelings.)

While I do love having this circle of songwriters/bands around me that I can so easily access, I'd readily give up this easy access to see them be respected and revered by more than just their small community of fans. These guys have to make a living and in a decade from now, that'll be damn near impossible for them. Touring will become a thing of the past for smaller bands 20 years from now because it's so expensive.

Yes, I can see the industry slowly changing because of the internet, but I'm still worried that the right music won't get out there.

RIP Jim Dickinson

November 15, 1941-August 15,2009

So, this is probably the saddest event I'll ever write about. I've lost one of my heroes, someone who a gal could really look up to and will continue to look up to.

James Luther Dickinson was a champion for Memphis music and musicians alike. He had a career that would've given anyone the impression that they could raise their nose at a young band with raw talent and say 'No!' simply because the pay wasn't good enough. Jim never did that, if it was in his tastes, he put his name behind it and supported it. His love for his city and the music that was made within its limits never failed.

As a session musician; he played on the last good record to come from Sun Records with the Jesters, he played on the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses", he played with Aretha Franklin, he was a part of the mighty mighty Dixie Flyers(the house band for Atlantic), he played with Dylan(he once said, "If you've got Jim Dickinson, you don't need anybody else." Something along those lines), and countless others. The list is enough to make any music lover's toes curl with pleasure and jealously all at once.

As a producer; he helped Big Star record what is considered their last consistent record, made an album with the Replacements that while it was great, it couldn't be played live for years because the band was so messed up when it was recorded, he produced a rock legend like Screamin' Jay Hawkins, a young rock'n roll band like Lucero, a legendary songwriter like John Hiatt, and took under his wing the young and very talented singer, Amy Lavere. Listening to these records confirms a few things about him, but the one that stands out the most is that Jim Dickinson had amazing taste in music. No matter the artist, you can always tell that Jim had his hand in it because he was able to stand back and let the artist be, let the artist put out the best that they could.

As a performer, I don't think I've ever been so thrilled to be in an audience as when I would watch Jim Dickinson behind his sticker covered keyboard or wielding his acoustic guitar. With his signature bandana in place, Mr. Dickinson would tell stories that would make the most serious of person break out into a smile and sing songs you've either never heard before or songs that no one had played onstage in a while. His song choice was always the best part of the show. Whether he was on his own, with his sons, with Sid Selvidge&Jimmy Crosthwait, or with Steve Selvidge, Paul Taylor, and Amy Lavere I always left the show inspired and with a smile on my face after seeing my hero play.

None of what I've said so far are reason why so many love and respect Mr. Dickinson. It wasn't his career or his prowess as a musician and songwriter. No, it was his love for music and his love for family that earned my respect, and I'm sure the respect of many others. Throughout his career he's been the consumate music fan and family man. For anyone that met him or enjoyed the mark that he's left on the music world, we've lost a great friend and mentor. I can only be a small part of helping spread the word of his legacy, but I'm proud to be a part of that small part in helping people know James Luther Dickinson.

Jim Dickinson on Having a Career in Production: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GsLfNnGs0Y

With the other 2 remaining members of Mudboy&the Neutrons(Sid&Jimmy) AND Steve Selvidge&Paul Taylor performing "Hitler Lives":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0yszfWz1XQ

I realize how cold and unfeeling this blog is, but I can't bring myself to write anything else. If you really want to read something heartfelt, read Chuck Prophet and G.Love's blogs. Those are my favorites and I'm sure that if Jim's family has read them, those are their favorites too.