So, this is the way that I feel a lot of the time these days.

It's weird to read exactly how I've been feeling from a book that every other chick in my age group has read. I want to know if anyone else read this paragraph and realized that this is how they've been feeling too.

I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance.

It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my own ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.

- New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

Take from that what you will, but that's the only comfort I have right now, to know that at least one person knows the pain that I'm going through. I so wish that someone would hold me and listen to me and comfort me. That's all I want right now. That's all I need.

I just can't believe that after having such a wonderful day, my mood has gone back to this.


Fuck.