My sisters(Emily&Bridget) really don't grasp that every negative comment and every time they go off on me without warrant pushes me further away from them every time. I'm at the point where I've decided to wash my hands of them once I leave Memphis. I know it's sad to say, but if you knew the shit I have to take from them then you'd do it to.
I don't deserve to be spoken to that way!
I don't tell Bridget what I think of her or Emily why she's so fucked up. I don't. I have a little something called tact and I do a little something called picking my battles. Sisters are a pain in the ass. I'm glad Bridget is moving out in a month, one less bitch to worry about.
Oh, and let me say now that Bridget was an excellent person before she let Emily and her boyfriend have so much influence over her day to day dealings, seriously. She and Jamie should've stayed living together because at least Jamie has her priorities straight and knows how to be in a healthy relationship, Emily and Bridget aren't even capable of this. Every guy Bridget has been with has taken advantage of her wonderful, kind nature and every one of those guys made her feel like he was gonna be the last guy to ever be attracted to her.
If she doesn't want me to care, then I won't. Let her marry this douche bag, I sure as hell won't go to the wedding, celebrate it or congratulate her; I congratulate him for landing one of the best, strongest women he'll ever lay his petty eyes on. She'll just get my pity for being with such a nobody. She needs to be with a real man, not a sick little manipulator.
:end rant:
So, I love writing. I love creating characters. I came up with one Friday that is absolutely fantastic, she's everything that I want to be. She's sassy, outspoken, gorgeous in a really angelic way, and an awesome musician. I'm so siked to write her story.
I'm also writing something else based on Cory Branan's song Lily( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGEqhc0CK7c ) and I asked Cory what it meant for him and all he said was that "Ovenbird" by Robert Frost inspired the chorus. At first I thought that he was giving me the easiest answer he could find, but he also told me that I was right in interpreting it as a sort of funeral march, which it is for my story.
"Ovenbird" by Robert Frost
There is a singer everyone has heard,
Loud, a mid-summer and a mid-wood bird,
Who makes the solid tree trunks sound again.
He says that leaves are old and that for flowers
Mid-summer is to spring as one to ten.
He says the early petal-fall is past
When pear and cherry bloom went down in showers
On sunny days a moment overcast;
And comes that other fall we name the fall.
He says the highway dust is over all.
The bird would cease and be as other birds
But that he knows in singing not to sing.
The question that he frames in all but words
Is what to make of a diminished thing.
Cory said that, mainly, the lines "The question that he frames in all but words/Is what to make of a diminished thing" is what inspired the chorus, and that just helped me out so much. I'm really glad that my favorite songwriter is also a friend who will help me out and inspire me with my writing when he can. We're by no means close, but we've known each other for 5 and a half years, he's watched me grow up. I've watched him grow up. I've had the honour of watching him develop his stage presence and the honour of hearing his songwriting progress.
Cory Branan is the unsung hero of rock'n roll. He doesn't write just one kind of song, he doesn't box himself in. He doesn't write just sappy love songs(none of them are sappy), crazy ass monkey songs, songs about historic events, songs about him fucking up past relationships, etc. His songwriting over the past 2 years has become so literary, you can tell that he's well-read. On the other hand, he doesn't insult your intelligence either. He realizes that some of his fans are young as shit and some are just at his show for a good time, he caters to that. He also caters to those who want something real, something to relate to. The best thing about Cory Branan is that he doesn't have the slightest clue as to how incredible he is as a musician, songwriter, and performer.
I'm done gushing, he'd have to put a sunroof on his junky ass mini-van to fit in it if I went on any longer.
=====
I got some important things done today and tomorrow I'm gonna get even more important things done. It feels good to make progress. I hate making decisions and doing the grown-up thing, but once I do it there's an immense relief in my chest and head. Thank God my dad is amazing and helps me through this stuff. He's the best man, on this planet, that I'll ever meet. God broke the mold with my dad. (Uncle Carl, laugh all you want, but it's true.)
Signin' out cause I know you're bored to tears by now,
Hurricane Natalie
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